when everything seems to change...

Today was a sad day.
In spirit of reminiscing, I will recap what made today sad. You see... It all started at the end of last summer. I went to La Ciudad Juarez with the most amazing people you will ever meet. It was there that they became my inspiration. School started and right from the beginning things changed for me. I lost a best friend of around ten months. Granted, it was my own fault, but still, the transition was heart wrenching. I began to seek out those people whom I met in Mexico. They hung out with me, cried with me, laughed with me (and at me). Then, in February, I suffered an even more heart wrenching loss. I lost another best friend of even longer. Yet once again, those people were there for me. Even when I thought that no one in the world knew me anymore and no one honestly cared... They proved it to me. And now, well ... today was their last day of school. Never again will things be the same. They are all going off around the country to different colleges and moving on past high school to bigger and better things. Even thinking about it makes me all choked up. These people, who have inspired me to love life, and to not judge my life's worth on having a boyfriend, and to enjoy every second of everyday with all the friends you can, and to have a very nice verdant :), have changed my life forever. The impact they have all individually had on me is indescribable and unmatchable. I love these people. And hate that things are changing for them, but not for me.

There are times in life where things have to change. You can't hang on to memories forever. Sadly, I am not a liker of change. No, definitely not a big fan. If I'm happy... I am perfectly okay for things to stay that way forever.
This leads to many mistrusts and my ongoing lack of faith in Christ. You see, the more I am worrying about times changing, the less I'm trusting Him.

My new motto in life, (yes, I know that's corny), is "Let Go, and Let God." I've never heard it put in such simple terms. Hearing that was a life changing concept. Rather than saying: "I just need to give up everything to God and let him handle everything," it is put in such layman's terms. Creating a much more simplistic effect. Because really, how could it not be easy to trust this extra-amazing God, our creator, who loves us more than the flowers and sparrows, and knows the exact count of all the hair on our heads, and who knit us together in our mother's wombs... How could we not trust that god easily and simply? But no, as humans... we complicate things. We try and figure things out on our own. Thinking of course that we know best. We begin to see God so much more deisticly than we even realize. If we can't trust him with something simple, then that is what we are doing. We are proving by our actions that God is just a simple bystander in our lives.

Luckily... He's not. He, who placed the stars in the sky, wants to know us. Wants to know me. Even after my countless rejections towards him. He wants to be my friend. My best friend and closest ally.

How could one not fully "Let go and let God" when it can be that easy?
I just have to keep reminding myself of that...