awwhhh....

so the title of this blog is not some noise made in a scary movie, neither is it a noise made in... well... other movies, but it's that sound of relief. the sound you feel when weight is lifted off your shoulders. the sound you make when everything is falling into place. the sound made when you are at peace with yourself... and with God. its the sound of joy. celebration. completion. moving on. hope. reflection. serenity. its the same sound you make when you have just finished an eleven page paper for murphy and realize that you could have possibly gotten a "c" on it. the sound you make when you make the last pencil mark on a final, creating an experience that excites and liberates you. its the same sound made when you find an end to an argument, (or when someone tells you that you were right all along). this same "awwhhh..." noise is a chance for a break in life. it allows you to take ahold of time again. it brings you back into awareness of yourself. your "awwhh...." moment is a time out in your world. no one can take it away from you. yes, you may make this noise more often than not when you are about to fall asleep, but better late than never. this "awwhhh..." chance gives you time to take a deep breath and reflect on things. whether bad or good. happy or sad. you can inhale.... and then exhale.... life is so great.

i had one of these "awwhhh..." moments tonight. i got something off my chest and feel one hundred pounds lighter. it was liberating. this moment not only allowed me to get something out into the open, it allowed me to open my eyes and see what great things i have in front of me.

i have an incredible boyfriend. trust me, i'm not just saying that. or getting paid to say that. he is truly remarkable. i'm going to take some time to brag about him. just for the sake of giving him some credit actually.
i'm not the type of girl who shows off her relationship. usually, they make me uncomfortable because i see how superficial some get. or how ridiculous some teenagers are when they say how much they "love" that special someone. i especially am not a fan of touchyness. pda is nasty. ha. ask any of my friends. (there is this one couple i see in the halls all the time that are all over each other! gag me now..., but am i right, Jacque?) anyways.... i digress...
so the reason it's ironic that i don't like any of that ^ now, is because if you were to ask me a year ago... i would have said the exact opposite. i used to love public displays of affection and all the lovey-doveyness that comes with having a boyfriend. i used to love that attention. things changed. oh how things have changed.

so now, since i'm all anti the show of loveydoveyness. i'm going to give some credit to this guy who has become a best friend to me.
his name is anthony. from day one i was skeptical. (once again, i hate high school relationships). but now that i'm at day 62 (lol... i'm not really that type of girlfriend, just thought it would be funny to have in this), i have no doubts. God brought me this wonderful man. he is mine to fall crazily in like with more and more everyday. the fact that he can make me laugh and smile even when i'm in the worst of moods is enough for me. but oh no... it gets better... he deals with my mood swings, pms'ing, freakout moments, crazy days, my faces, me sticking my tongue out everytime i eat something, my family, and oh so much more. we can talk about anything. tonight was one incredible example of that. he not only encourages me and my walk with Christ, but challenges me to be more loving and caring and real of a person. i find more qualities of Christ in him daily.... some that i wish i could be better at. his love and joy he finds in helping others excites me. he likes me for who i am, and doesn't judge me at all for who i was. we can joke at each other's expense, and think we are both so funny.... looking. He has brought so much happiness and contentment and stablity into my life. God couldn't have brought him along at any better of a time. got to love the big man upstairs.... he's a pretty smart one. needlesstosay, i'm crazy about anth. and i wish he knew at least half of it.


and now i have realized that it is 2:12 am.... and i have to get up in 5 hours to take the SAT. awesome huh?
i'm so addicted to this blogging business. :)

pray for me? to let go and let God. i'm finally realizing that he actually does know what he is doing and talking about.

thank you. i will pray that you all have an "awwhhh...." moment soon enough. and that you can reflect on the wonderous ways God is working and moving within your life.